Dating and deaf

Hey everyone.

Just wanted to know how you all manage in the dating field with your hearing loss? Do you find it nerve wrecking? Just wondered.....
  • Happy New Year All

    Just wanted to point out the following deaf dating website which may be of interest to you -

    All the best
  • I can tell you the secret of successful dating. Have a wide social circle.This means making an effort to go out to social events, join clubs or hang out in particular bars. At the end of the day most people date others whom they already know.
    I met most of my girlfriends through common interest such as horse riding and walking dogs. I met my future wife because we both played for darts teams at the same pub. She made me laugh and I got to know her quite well before we actually met up outside of the darts team.

    Don't believe the myth that men sail over and make dates with totally strange women. That happens in American films but not so much in real life, unless you happen to be a rock god or something.
    A friend of mine was a real woman chaser (but otherwise a nice guy!) and he devoted hours to the study of "how to pull women". He once jumped out of a car in a traffic jam and chatted up a woman he liked the look of. But that is rare, most women don't like being pursued by strangers they prefer to go out with people that they already know. He wasn't actually all that successful either, but very stressed out! It's not a good look.

    It is very difficult for deaf people to get along with hearing dates because they have to pretty much start from scratch explaining all the limitations of deafness. Many women are not bothered about hearing loss but they do need a little bit of explanation on how to deal with it. If you already know the person a little bit then that smooths the path.
    Some women are totally turned off by hearing loss and their reaction will tell you if they are worth bothering with. Such is life.
    So there you go, Andy's guide to having lots of girlfriends. Emphasise the friend and not the girl.

  • Yep :-(
    But dating's nerve racking for anyone I think to start with.

    I'm HI , steep ski slope losses, 2kHtz and over both ears 90db down.
    (Maybe AOHL should allow profile to 'show' degree / type hearing loss - it might help readers to asses if the post is relevant to them)

    But - Both long term partners I've met - I met in quieter places - by chance.
    So we got chatting and ... :-)
    So it can and does all happen.

    A thought - with the net now - at least there's the opportunity to 'peruse' / search the field abit heh without suffering the Pubs / Clubs
    Look / Try maybe - I think they have chemistry / interest matching - free :-). You can IM chat then move on to Video chat maybe. All in a quiet environment :-)

    I have in the past tried online Deaf singles sites - just not that many people on them.
    I don't sign so that rules out BSL users.
    And few numbers normally means those members are miles apart - altho - the net can help with that I guess - skype and all that.

    So assuming hearing in noisy places is hard - I would try to meet people in quieter situations - walks / outdoors / a quieter club / meeting / Museums / Art Galleries / Art class / on the net ... not the pub / cafe - unless it was quiet and empty (Why is the cafe empty !!! ??? - health and safety issues ? You mean that mouth watering Chocolate cake put 10 people in Hospital !??)

    I think most 'hearing' meet people (m8s or prospective partners) in groups / pubs / parties and what not - so personally I think hearing have far more opportunity to work out who and what they like in a potential partner.
    A numbers game - meet more people - more chance of success.

    I guess it varies on your hearing loss - for me - one on one chat is normally ok in a quiet place - I'd lip read to cover gaps or 'hide' it someway.
    Groups / pubs and clubs I avoid - Totally. Invite me to pub or party - I'll refuse - well make excuses not to go.
    If I'm driving - I've had it - I can't hear a word from any passengers - I'll have to either own up - or go into boring single sided lecture mode - which is also strange (does he like the sound of his own voice that much ! Am I allowed to get a word in edgeways ?).

    Both LTR I've met have had normal hearing - that's been useful - they can hear worrying engine noises before the engine explodes , hissing of in progress car punctures, sound of overflowing baths, high pitched piezo alarms , the oven 'bell' warning of imminent burnt offerings and just 'that sounds wrong' !
    Also understand all those incomprehensible train / airport and all the rest 'annoucements'.
    All of which takes ALOT of stress off me :-)

    I am sometimes useful - in foreign countries and languages - I get pushed to the fore - I can't understand a word - but I do read 'body' language and stuff I guess - so I can normally work out what the problem is.
    I do have minor uses !